He happens

Okay, okay... maybe this isn't my story to tell. But I just want to say that God's amazing about knowing your needs. I have this lovely friend who was telling me about what God said to her the other day.

It was at a prayer meeting - the kind you've probably all been to or can well imagine. And here she was, feeling entirely out of it and asking God what had gone wrong. BM loves him so she wasn't too happy about status quo. Understandable.

And then God happened :). Like he sits her down in the middle of the meeting and in her completely silent spirit He tells her so she can hear: 'You know what? I invented doughnuts!' See, doughnuts are a favourite and she needed to laugh and she needed to see the person of God again to heal her stupid disconnect.

God happens.

Like I was biking through a barrier that I hadn't been able to pass, for nearly every day a month, without stopping and walking through or irrepairably falling from my bike! And I was having a really hard day. I was scared of my supervisors. So inadequate with everything. I hadn't had a brilliant meeting with the profs. And I had no idea what to do. I didn't know where the next day was coming from...

And it was raining. Conveniently. So the road was pretty empty and I was pretty broken. I cried. The tears sort of poured. And I figured - whatever, no one would know if they were tears or rain. I was crying a bit like the biblical Hannah too - and the random couple of passers-by looked, only to see me quickly shut my mouth and open again in a loud hum as if I were in the middle of song! And soon I arrived at the famous bike barrier.

And God says: 'Don't fall'.

Gobsmacked, I just sorta gasped and said 'Oh wow, thanks, Lord! You've just made my day so much better'. Obviously I didn't mean it at all, and I knew He knew. And I was sorta madly glad. So I carried on: 'I can't even cross this silly bike barrier without falling and you want me to do a DPhil and settle in and work?! And now you just... I dunno if I didn't know you better, it almost sounds like you're rubbing it in... But I trust you. And if you want me to learn another lesson today, then I know I probably need it'.

And God says again: 'Don't fall'. Quite clearly.

So I cast up a look at him, not in anger but more like a weepy-read-my-eyes-look, and hit the pedal.

And cross that barrier perfectly without stopping or slowing down for the first time in my life. I have never fallen since, with my eyes on Him.

And then God explained... 'cos He figured I was gonna take some time to work this one out... "Phil 4:13. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. You can do it but as long as it's my strength. Always. Keep your eyes on me. And you really can do it."

I didn't stop crying as I rode back in the rain. But I couldn't stop smiling either. Or laughing.

Jer 29:11

It's so easy to forget that God is sufficient that I amuse myself.

Things I love... Moments I love, rather... When I've spoken sharply to check a child or one of our dogs (not that the two are equal or any other such implication: i.e. if I offend you, then you've misunderstood me... That's my story and I'm sticking to it.) - anyway point in question - when I yell or even mildly flick Tass or Prince, they just squirm and then come running back to me for shelter. How wonderful is that?! It's the heart-cockle-warming-est feeling ever.

And maybe I have a lesson to learn. We all do. When correction comes in love, you know your safest place is to go to the person who's just told you they think you're wrong. They care enough to stop you, and to be honest with you. They may be right or wrong, but you know why they did it.

I cannot get over how my mum will never ever say 'fat' in connection with me... To her, I'm still that baby that needs to eat as much as it can get in to grow. LOL. Indianness, perhaps. But an old-fashioned kind.

Methinks I have been using Indianness as my synonym for old-fashioned-ness... And it's not anymore. India's changing and I'm stick some years before I was born - happily, I might add. I am glad that the Bible is never out of fashion. And the Bible has the copyright on love and obedience. When I am honest about 'old-fashioned-ness' it's not about values and ideals - fashions are much more about the self.

God is so good. S-O good!

Glad glad glad

So here's a late-night two minute spew spree that had to get out:

I am in INdiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Can you tell? Extended my stay by a week. I haven't stopped eating since I stepped on that flight. It was deep fried prawn today, will be chenna idli tomorrow - anybody ever try this absolutely delightful southern Indian deluxe version of idli?! I used to call 'em pregnant idlis. Too true. And biriyani, and naan, and amma's curry and periamma's curry, and non-sweet corn on the cob, and MANGOES (God is good ;D).

And the family - the amma-appa-periamma. The dogs. Tassi makes this gorgeous grunt-purr when you carry her... And comfortably slumps into the crook of your arm, for you to roll her little sausage-body whichever way you please. Prince has learned the trick of late. He has the grand melancholy that afflicted the Romantic poets. I believe he would have had much in common with the likes of Byron etc. But not a lot to say, the poor darling. He is too overawed by the incessance of Tassi's talk. Talk, she does! The puplet has so much to say to Appa these days. I am not being an overly crooning, gushing pet-owner. She actually lets loos a stream of multi-tonal and elongated sequences of trills... they could be growls if the word did not carry with it such a measure of unfriendliness. Even when she tells people off for leaving her on her own, she grins.

Yes. Dogs grin. So there.

Well, the weather's brilliant. Rain is always ace here. And I like the excitement of thunder. But the sun is out every other day in its scorching intensity. Madras is Madras, you gotta love it.

So, interview done. Data ends tied up. A week of pure study to do. And I am sooooooooo unsure of how to deal with the stats. Anybody wanna volunteer to help? *Brave smiles* Please :D

I am now rather like chocolate cake - dark brown and lots of fat. There is much more to write about. Almost as much as there is to read - all my old friends of my girlhood are begging to be revived and they are! But oh, there's so much to do.

God, gimme grace.

Also - this persecution against Christian minorities that's been spreading in the nation for a time is sorta heavy on my heart... I have all these questions of what-if. Most of them are answered pretty quickly. I am so thankful for the family that I was born into. Even more thankful for the time when Christianity took on new meaning for me. Glad it was a personal and not a familial decision. Glad that it wasn't a lonely decision either - glad my parents were clued in too.

In the words of Pollyanna: I'm glad glad glad.

Again and again I fall on something I have always remembered and now forget. And again and again you pick me up. I know it's human to assume patience will run out but I want never to doubt. And I want never to stop asking you because if I do anything, it is for you.