My bizarre goings-on

The most normal activity for the average girl and law-abiding citizen in your average family friendly neighbourhood in the late hours of the night - climbing down a ladder and a drainpipe onto a window to redeem a razor because it is the last remaining one before we can get to a shop tomorrow!! Yes, that would be normal, thank you...

LOL.

We have had an interesting weekend as A & M have arrived and I'm doing the touristy thing with them. We have a week of travelling ahead of us as well and are so looking forward to it. It's brilliant to be able to remember what a lovely place you live in too.

So we took a drive down to Mahabalipuram and went round all the monuments and carvings... we gave the shore temple a miss. My dad walked into the Five Rathas and was promptly stopped. Rudely. Then my mum and I. Now my dad was dressed in jeans, my mum in a salwar and me in jeans without anything er Indianly amiss... i.e. no tank tops, no halters, no tights, nothing remotely ramp-esque, no rolled up sleeves or trouser legs.... I mean I looked Indian... And I know it. Lol, the ultimate proof if you needed it, for instance - I am not of course suggesting for an instant that you don't believe me. Believe me!! I am so right ;D - I did not even have straightened hair! Ahhh, now I see your eyes rolling. Vanity, vanity - yeah, Solomon, you're the man ;).

Lol, anyway seriously - the man did not think we were Indian. Because we came with two people who were not Indian, so no 2 + 2 does not make four, really... No no no. So we had these tickets that he was not going to accept because he wanted us to prove that we were Indian and this is a half-hour down the road from our house! And my mum kindly informed me that I simply did not understand that in India they don't take to youngsters disagreeing. I don't understand that - I understand some people do wherever they are in the world... But er I still disagree :( I mean a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, eh?

Well, after that we found a cute little monkey whom my dad took on his lap... The story of the monkey is however that he was rather attracted to me :(. Yes, the life and loves of Pilgrim. Born Anno Domini___ , lived___, deeply mourned by Mr Monkey........

Oh and I got this perfect little bamboo bag that M bought for me for a present. It is gorgeous and a good size to carry when I'm going out for the day! It is just right, not too posh, not too tacky... and veeery in, ooohh yeah ;D

There were loads of things I wanted to put down on this blog but have no time. In fact, I'm so preoccupied it's taking longer! Bleh! So final news story for the day - one of these networking sites had my attention one jobless evening. So I messed about with the relationship status thingy looking for options - as in 'single but committed' or 'single and in a relationship with God' or 'in healthy relationships with friends and family' but er Booong Gutter Ball... So I went back to my old one, but the stupid interface put it on the news which means my church back in B has been in a state of furore (well, by church I mean girls' cell because it's the kind of thing you yak about between Bible studies and wellllllll after :D)... Did NOT know they were until a couple of days ago when RM finally broke it to me, asking me to 'put them out of their misery' and a day later M arrives to have a word with me about what did I think I was doing :D... Siiiiigggghhhh - and Darcy is either in P&P or in the process.

And by the way, just so you know God has been working out things in my life:D Wehey!!

This is not a sad post

It is as if I search for you, but I have lost the way to you. I know I haven't - the way to you is you.

As though I were speaking and speaking of nothing, until I forgot how to listen.

It is as if I am lost because you are lost. And my way to anyone is lost - or I fear that it will be in the brain-warp that I have stupidly created.

I know this moment is of my making and I know these feelings are only premonitions which will be real if I don't let myself be nothing, give completely and wait.

This is emptiness that only you can fill. The deer to water - that's been done. This, this is just me to you. Speak. I'm listening.

I am like any average person. I think relationships don't need work, I think decisions of commitment come heralded - violin concertos and sunbursts. I keep thinking until I remember or stop thinking to listen. You're good at this - you teach me. I just pray I will learn when it happens with others, when we're both learning, and you still teach. That you will not teach to the unteachable, not for too many moments.

Another ramble

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I was reading another blog recently and he (the blogger) complained that he had begun to blog just for the people who read his blog, instead of for himself as he had started. It's funny, I suppose, you keep wanting people to read it and then your line is crossed and you're going to have to start all over again. At least that looks like it's a long time coming by this way...

For the record, I have declared myself a pig! For the last ten days, I have been such a TV-watching, couch-dozing, juice-swigging, on-the-way-to-fat pig! Okay, okay I'll hold out on the verbal abuse, but it is true. Mum cooks all this fantastically mum-elicious food (and she can cook!) and when it's on the table I just sit there and keep finishing it ably aided by my sympathetic father. I've gone so used to the idea of finishing the serving on the table at home, because that's how I would cook, or RM or any of my single housemates would!

It is not helping. About three days ago, I weighed myself and I was a kilo more than I was before I landed here. Which makes it one kilo in seven days! Which makes it 'orrible!!!! If I keep this up, I shall be waddling up the drive in the uncanny semblance of a giant milk chocolate Swiss roll! No wonder, one of the dogs is a fat, but cute, sausage. Waaaahhhhh - so I dutifully promise myself I shall not eat as much. But I do, simply because I can't be bothered to be a perfect weight. It never mattered to me, but the trouble is I am also nearly entirely sedentary what with the job search and my happily retired dad who is always wanting to do something and therefore drives out everywhere and drives me everywhere I want to go too. It is fantastic. I LOVE being chauffeured by appa - ahhhh, luxury! And I do not always 'enjoy' bus rides. But this inactivity is sometimes stifling, LOL. I felt as if I had achieved greatness by moving my ahem and getting a bus and sitting in a hot, dusty, crowded van. I also now appreciate the space that some places have! In the bus, I had forgotten, everyone's hair is for sharing, as are everyone's peeves and foul language... Thankfully I was not standing and have not been reminded what else can be to share, however much one might protest. But I do not think I can actually go back to some of it now, it makes me wince and want to cry. But other bus phenomena I recognise with familiarity and not quite as much pain. LOL - it was great getting on a 29M again, and that feeling of thrill - with lines such as Ha!, Thank You, Lord and See what comes to those who wait, some of better tone than others, running through your brain, when you have missed your 29C and are rewarded with a 29M - had the smiling, silent recognition of a very old acquaintanceship without a disturbed history.

Ah well, that old feeling ;)

But this evening we watched a couple of Gaither DVDs. That is one bunch of blessed and talented people. And the feeling of family is so strong, it reminds me of BCC sometimes. It must be such a privilege to sing together and grow singing together. I wish one could ;O I hope at some point we will have people to sing with, and that we might stay together. Actually, you know what, we do :D and God asks us to make a joyful noise after all, doesn't He? But some of those songs are very insightful, as songs have a trick of being. And he sang "Thanks to Calvary, we don't live here any more". Sometimes it is so easy to let a reaction to what used to be creep up on you. Most times the reaction is fear - and fear can be so pervasive in satan's use of it, that you hardly notice it come. But it does, and you react as if redemption never happened and there had been no forgiveness, for you or for another person. But I pray that God will help me remember (for I know it already) that the old is really out.

We don't live there any more. I don't live there any more.

Mistaken chivalry and Indianness - random

I bewail my mistaken chivalry - I so want a picture outside the fairy-tale castle like my cousin! Instead I generously offered a picture and forgot to be snap-happy myself! I shall do it some day :)

I have also discovered that I am unfailingly Indian - I had a meal sorted for him because he was visiting... all this notwithstanding the fact that he couldn't, of course, stay with me as the house isn't mine! And I feel awful for the fact that I live here and he bought me a meal (as I wasn't sure I could afford it) instead of my meal, or my back-up plans of KFC or Cadwalader's... LOL, how my Indianness stares me in the face at times! But I love my tan;). Btw, the meal was absolutely lovely and it was interesting being introduced to Portuguese food @ Nandos et al. I am not complaining :D. It filled me up and I've only had dinner today! And Nandos was yesterday's lunch!! Thanks, RK. This is just an observation - it didn't matter that Ga had more to give me, or RM, or that SC could not afford a gift for my do, and that I managed to get something together for her... In fact, all of these examples took me ages to think of, and this is an edit! LOL. But when it was family, Indianness happened, I suppose. Probably because I'm my father's daughter.

Ah well, we did the packed lunch on Saturday and anyway, BO says I can feed her instead and I shall...! He hee. However, I hope BO has a constitution for frequent biriyani ;O. Or if she can't come to Chennai, maybe it won't be biriyani and I don't have as great an opinion of K aunty's cooking as amma's.