My theories on Romance - one gripe

I have quite a few theories and this is just one gripe. Hehe... as you would expect! I don't quite like the expression 'falling in love' in that it seems to signify spatio-temporal dimensions I don't want to relate to that feeling. But there's nothing quite like it in that it refers to an experience that is nowhere near matched by the ideas conveyed by 'attracted' or 'liking', much less, to me at least, those associated with going out or seeing someone or being boyfriend and girlfriend. Tommy Tenney wrote that God wasn't looking for a girlfriend that he could date, he wanted a love who would prepare to be his bride. That is the relationship we try to mirror in our relationships here on the planet as we know it.

One of my questions is this - surely it is not one of the ten commandments? 'Thou shalt not be unmarried?' Many Christians seem to find it incomprehensible that a girl might not seek marriage pro-actively. Yes, I said it - I am a girl, and I am not seeking it pro-actively. Not because I am afraid or abnormal! But because I do not see a way of logically concluding that that is God's desire for everyone. Many times the Bible says the opposite - that it is not. Possibly because in that day and this, there were several well-meaning persons who came up to singles and told them off for not letting themselves get married. Trust me - I am not pro-actively against it either. And trust me - if the right guy happened, I don't think I could stop it if I tried. But that's just it - I stubbornly (for now ;O!) refuse to try. God does the match-making, I believe. And being Indian, I must add this clause - He does the matchmaking whoever He chooses to use. This has recently been very frustrating to me. But if it's frustrating to me, when all I am faced with are teasing jokes and advice to start thinking about it, then it must be scream-worthy to some of my older friends who have complained that that is all some people can think about conversing about with them. Being single is not equal to being an object of pity and commiseration, neither is it equal to being in adversity while everyone advises you to get out of it. If you're married, you were single at some point too? And God chose to bring you into the world and keep you single until a decent age - for a good reason.

What I do not understand is how married people don't get that if they had to choose between a person God did not intend for them, a person who's not their spouse now and being single, how the heck would they have even given it a second thought???!!! Either there is God's perfect will or there isn't - it's the deal with perfection. I've said this before - this does not mean you look for perfection in the person you're marrying. If that were the case, then I know now without having to wait for an answer, that that is not going to be me. So you don't decide to get married and then look for the guy. (Again it might sound like it, but I am not against arranged marriages. I am entirely for!) You only want marriage when something happens to change your present state. Either you fall in loe with someone - hard ;) - or God tells you different.

So I do't get why people want to make the lives of my friends who are in their late twenties harder. Or why they want to annoy the sanity out of me with their insistence of rightness. It is an India thin - and I am not sure how one deals with the nonsense!

I'm special

Me. Just me. I'm special!!!!! G-a-h.

Even in the most innocuous of situations, I have the uncanny ability to find a way to embarrass myself... It's a gift.

So we're all sat in this family gathering as is frequent this time of year, and my chitthappa whom I haven't seen for ages is visiting from the US of A. We were all glad to see him, and I was glad I'd made it to see him too. At least one part of this family winter migration I have managed not to miss. Ever since he went there, there's been a slight improvement in English I must say, because he probably has had to use it more intelligibly to people who are not used to our endearing errr nuances... We are Tamil. We seem to have a tendency to mix our ahs and aws. Well, a good number of us do at least. We also drop our aitches in the best British traditions since the East India Company saw the light of day. My uncle was vehemently denouncing this virus that had got into his software. All because someone stupidly gave the computer to some unlicensed bloke. So in answer to queries, and in emphasis, he repeated the name of this virus. And I was intrigued... I mean, I'd never heard a virus called that, it sounded quite racially derogatory. And my uncle seemed to emphasise the second word too! It was called - The White Horse virus.

And I said aloud what I'd heard to check. "White er arse virus???"

My mum and cousin laughed mercilessly. The rest of the family just ignoooooooooored me with what was left of all our collective dignity.



Well, I'll try not to be an ass next time, but thanks for listening.

Bridge

Hola mis amigos, tiempo sin verte!! I have missed my space and reverted to it occasionally in memory but never enough to long to sit down and hammer away...

I'm glad I'm back though, even though I didn't always know I was missing it. And hey, it hasn't been that long really on the surface. Just about three weeks or so. Not quite the 400 silent years, but hey my point exactly - who says they were silent, eh? So much (oh, you have no idea) has been going down, I'm rather lost as to where to start.

But I can start there. Trust me, it won't take long for my philosophising drivel to begin ;).

So in the gap I've been on a few learning curves and loved them. I was sitting in my room one day - well submerged under duvets, pillows and blankets and the warmth (okay, don't hit me) of a companionable laptop - and trying to break through... something, I didn't know what. I didn't even know I wanted to break through until that point, I think. What can I say? I'm strange! And it was quite clear: It is a dangerous distance when you don't know you're far. Distance can be deceptive and when you're furthest is probably when you can't gauge it! Scary thought. So usually I'm a God-break-the-barriers-I-want-to-get-there kind of person. But here I was thinking Ah well, love'll take care of itself. We can't be far from home anyway.

I'm glad I was found.

Con todo mi carino

P