English classes

No, actually, students, you won't get through IELTS if the moral of The Gifts of the Magi is 'Never spend too much on gifts' as opposed to 'The best present of all is love'.
Yes, 'tomorrow' really does have only one 'm'. What's that, N? Well yes, I actually do know the language and I can't wait till the end of the day to say that wreathed in polite grins.
No, you were right the first time and when I say 'Brilliant, fantastic' it means you're right and you don't have to get it wrong the next ten times.
No, actually Jim is not sad because Della is a modern woman and cut her hair short.
No, Della does not hate Jim's gift because it reminds her of her hair.
No, Jim is not unhappy because he does not have a job - the book says he does.
Yes, the past tense is past, the present is present and you DID just say that to me when I wasn't asking. WHY will you not answer right when I am???? Waaaahhh, no it will not make it better if you offer to take teacher out to Burger King over lunch. And even if you flirt, I will still be friendly but get very corrective on grammar. For instance if you say 'Do you can go out when night week every?', I solemnly promise not to answer Wednesdays and Thursdays. I WILL say that two auxiliary verbs do not go together in simpler words and disregard your question!

Lol, yes they flirt sometimes but they are lovely and some of them very nice.

growing up and growing away...

They're two different things... You grow away, apart, sometimes. When you begin to realise it, and when you thought it didn't exist in the least degree and took pride in the fact... it hurts when you see the smallest signs of it.
But it is still interesting - even when the man that suffers and the mind that creates are not so separate yet!

rain, AB, there-goes-modelling and scholarships

This is weird but the most reactive to my last posts were people not of my race... they were all Christian and outraged. Probably the way it should be - when BO says 'Why do they tell me not to wear my sari like everyone else?' I say 'I dunno, have you asked them?' She has, by the way, and they have said 'Well, cos you're white'. So... they prefer brown midriffs to white?? I erm rest my case... :(( BO, by the way, who has asked to be sent this link is lovely wonderful fantastic (happy, B? :)) but more - she's awfully brave to keep going back to India which must be just as lovely and confusing to her as I find this country. Or maybe she's not brave - maybe she's just committed to what God wants. And I react to ppl's confusions sort of like they react to mine here - which on blogging about it makes me think of 'bearing each other's burdens'?? On a much smaller scale of course than the 1st C Christians ;)

BTW BO's name doesn't really stand for body odour. Not even when she's visited JMJ;) There, vindicated!

Now - it's been raining all day and since I love the rain I end up grinning like a bigger idiot than usual on my walk home! LOL Ah, Wales :) I know most people don't really 'love' rain - but I think it's brilliant! Beautiful really just like most other things are - sun, snow... although I might draw the line at enjoying a volcano... it may be beautiful (erm no offense, Lord;)) but I won't have time to stand and stare will I? Unless I'm already dead! Yes, I'm weird but not that weird ;) But no, rain's not pleasant when bus drivers like to splash your ankles and your lovely boots (!) with muddy water :(
But the real reason I wanted to blog about the rain is because this student was soooo weepy today. She complained about the UK, she complained about her husband, she complained about her house, she complained about English, she complained about money, she was just beginning to complain about her landlord's personal advances even!!! My word, no wonder she complained about me. She even complained about her zodiac - which of course she has read. It told her she would be tired and unhappy - well, of course she obeys THE ZODIAC! Uh! I was happy to tell her it was rubbish and would she snap out of it please (very politely in dulcet tones, ha!) But she was not focussed on her work really today which makes the teacher's job a LOT more teachy :P

AB - another friend who was on Gtalk for most of today and which made me glad!! Filled up my breaks most profitably on discussing mums, dads, men, boots, promotions, teeth and other essential information.

Wanted to also register for a models wanted thingy so I could get a free haircut - which I dearly need! But they took down the sign just today, so I'll have to go to that other shop with a similar sign (wink wink). I can always sound like I'm used to it with last year's stuff at UWB... LOL

Debbie Cameron wrote back to me and said the date is past for giving any additional information about scholarships so they can't really use my MA marks now... :S Either way God works stuff out.

PS

I need to be careful blogging doesn't eat into my worship time! I may blog about Jesus, but it may distract me into other stuff too... So this is just a mental note. Only when it's allowed.

My life is beautiful... (this is long, I warn you! ;))

Tbh, I am a bit surprised that that is the emotion I have at this moment in time. Today I had my second brush with racism in this country. I say 'in this country' because some people back home have been racist too - both nationals and visitors. It is interesting that I was only just saying to my mum yesterday that God has not only brought in my path non-racist people but people with love like I have rarely found elsewhere.

Every time someone rants about the racism they experience, I have this immediate reaction, albeit hidden. I discount it, partly not wholly, as a crutch. I do not say it does not exist. But it is just not a reason to complain anymore. Disgust - yes. Disregard - absolutely. Fighting against it - necessary when it occurs. But victimisation - no. If they have a chip on their shoulder because you are a different nationality from the ones they prefer, it really is their problem. At least within the conditions of living in this place, as far as I have experienced. Therefore, I suppose, my reaction is not entirely fair. But it is honest. You will never be unemployed because of it. You will never be totally isolated because of it. Perhaps unemployment because of language barriers can happen - possibly just as unfair, but much more justifiable. In fact, most Caucasians in my experience are much more sensible about it than Orientals...

Now the details - my employer told me to be nice to a particular student. At my questioning look, she said because she didn't like you. Concerned about my teaching practices, I asked why... especially as this particular student keeps complimenting me on my teaching! [- most of which I modestly disregard in the course of the lesson ;)]. She then corrected herself and said it was not me as a person she didn't like, or even my teaching as I was to discover, but the fact that I was non-native... Now there is a clear difference between a native speaker and a non-British or non-American or non-any-Inner-Circle-nationality (as Kachru would say) person!! Clear. Let me say that again - CLEAR. :D.

I was more shocked I think at the fact that the boss-woman wanted me to be nice to her. When I am shocked, I don't react. I mean I just have a middle-ish smile on my face and just nod or say mmhmmm!!! It has always been this way. Not something I like living with - sometimes it's convenient, sometimes it's flippin' crippling! Perhaps the student was concerned that my English was not native-speaker level. She cannot be expected to know that it is my first language. But the more I think about it, the more hurt I am by my employer's reaction. Perhaps also the student was saying it to haggle with my employer - who unlike most colleges often cuts around the fee to suit the student! On the other hand, perhaps she was racist even though I've now lost most of my tan!! LOL. Also perhaps my boss was saying it to give herself a foothold in any negotiations she might be planning in the future. By now, you must have a pretty good sketch of her sketchiness! She is sometimes amusing though. She is not Caucasian herself. And I still like the student. She applies herself to her work. I am not sure I will forget this in my dealings with her... but strangely enough, I just find it interesting. Incredibly dense. Slightly hurtful. But not enraging. Hmmm, maybe I have the perfect 'victimised' psyche!!! Lord, if I should be enraged, make it so. However, as the student has never exhibited any such prejudices or let it hinder her study, I am only disappointed and mad at my employer. She will probably bring it up again, and I will be more equipped. And there will be less people in the room :D

Now as to why my life is beautiful... Because in spite of this, it has been a beautiful day. The sun was out gloriously. The little girl behind me in the bus was singing. For once, I wasn't the only nut case singing, lol. She sang 'Dance then, wherever you may be/I am the Lord of the dance, said He'. And it so perfectly encapsulates my feelings today. Hardly creditable, is it?! I know! And I was able to help a student with her accommodation - she was so upset she stormed out of the building! In fact, it was the same student... and now thinking about it, I am entirely surprised myself (honestly, I AM NOT GOODY TWO SHOES, LOL) - but I was neither helping her for my boss's unpalatable reasons, nor for the sweet kind of vengeance. This has only just struck me as I recall the incident. This is why I should write - I only just realise that I spoke to her after I'd heard from the employer, and I only just realise that although I remembered it, I was not terribly hurt. God is slightly unbelievable. I am now a bit angry - more than when I started this blog, but just healthy enough. And this morning the Lord showed me these verses twice over... just in case, I missed the point that it was not just a random daily reading ;)

Sing, O Daughter of Zion; shout aloud, O Israel! Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O Daughter of Jerusalem! The LORD has taken away your punishment, He has turned back your enemy. The LORD, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm. On that day they will say to Jerusalem, 'Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp. The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.' Zephaniah 3:14-17

Aren't they beautiful?? Well, the One who said 'em is, so they've got to be, haven't they?? ;O The third and fourth sentence of that were especially quickened for me - and it looks like He was preparin me for the day ahead?! The following quote is something that was repeated today - and my mum has often given me this promise! So I guess that's why my day was beautiful... and my life is.

Now Carte d'Or Creme Brulee calleth ;)

Short story

Well, well, this has been a rather productive day for me. Cleaned my room and arranged it - it's beautiful, people, you're all invited!! Did all the washing, and even my shoes. Had a lovely swirly bubbly bath!!! Cooked for myself!! L achi died this morning. A bit sad... She was a bit of a family icon, bless her! I will write about that another day though. In the evening, at prayer, I felt God wanted me to write and I had to obey... This is what came out, a bit different from my other short stories. And real short. But I think it's lovely nevertheless. The inspiration came from where I am in my life (but that's not obvious ;O) and the verse that says 'The King is pleased with your beauty'. I think tis in the psalms... biblegateway.com fails me :(. But here it is... PTL


NO FATTED CALF


She sat still, arching her back against the bars of the bench. It gave her aching shoulder blades, weighed down with oblivion, some respite. She did not know where next. She had come a long way from the clinic. Fighting for answers till she was too blind to see them. She had been weeping too loud to ever hear.

Funny that. Women can go into a crescendo of crying until there’s nothing more to cry about, I think. Nothing more to be said. The silence seems frightening from the threshold. Inside, time stops. Funny that.

She had been in a cocooned crescendo for the past month. Like a train blurring through the underground, filling the darkness with noise. She had known, as surely as she knew herself, that she would reach a point when her inward self-torture would stop. Having reached fruition. Unbidden thoughts, the kind of thoughts you easily forget how to hold with your fingers, thoughts that were ancient questions – they were her voices of the night for these weeks. An almost incessant night, warm and stifling. Sometimes you close your eyes to forget.

She had closed her eyes last night. Only the formula must have missed the mark somewhere. She told me she thought it had worked. The angry crowd with distorted faces only made her laugh. No, it was not all contempt; it was at some levels genuine laughter which she believed she had lost. Perhaps it was a reaction. The onset of hysteria? Perhaps. But she did laugh.

It was that man with the little girl holding on to his one outstretched finger. He smiled at her. Surprised her. Then he turned back to the girl. She looked away, at her watch. She was in good time. He held out the flag under his arm to someone else, suddenly disembodied from the crowd. Maybe he had never been in the crowd. Maybe he had. Then they made their way and kept playing that game. Silly, inane game. Painful game. Precious game. Catharsis. ‘Pick your finger, princess, any one’.

So how did she find herself here in the next room to where she was going? The frightening silence had come – with an impossible sense of time. The noise merged with the crowd… outside. All outside. She was here, and suddenly she was listening – to the silence. With a gabble of words, she started to question again. A different kind of torture. Questions of absolution. The answers not inaccessible enough for ease. The solutions hitherto unacceptable.

Yes, she was weeping for herself. But it was so changed from these last months. It was a quiet cry, the comforting kind – not so loudly alone.

What was that he had called her? Princess. Rough-soft hand that her whole face could just about fill. We can play out today, princess, you and I…Rough wood under her, carry her lightness, as she carved perfect semi-circles in the air. Rumbling laughter, mingling with her own much softer giggles. Sometimes a third part would harmonise. It’s Sunday, princess, wake up. Wake up.


There were no more tears – for now. She had received freely, hadn’t she? Funny though that she had forgotten how. They would still be there. Shocked maybe, hurt certainly, but available. There would be the sound of understanding instead of this silence… She could easily learn to live with the happier kind of noise.

She got up, off the absurd seat, and shook off the dusted memories. They fell gently around her, handles intact. No. No, she could not go back. She had nothing to give. And this silence was… Well, whatever this silence was, she was holding on to the only thing she understood now. Time trebles distance. The past was too far away. But this silence smelled of eternity. It was not the familiar pause of conscious time she had dreaded. Maybe this quietness would change things later. But for now… No. She was not going back. Her steps quickened.

I found her reading old worn words under the autumn tree. To learn to freely give, she said, she must learn to receive again.

and ha! HA!

Now jus cos I'm blogthinging and you love me so much (:P lol) that you do it... does NOT mean you go on there and 'calculate' the love of your life, or the rest of your year, or your magical pick-up line or what star-sign you are!!!! Stay sensible :D
Love ya
pilgrim

PS As an English teacher and a bit of a grammar buff, I should say this test is more prescriptive than descriptive... Language evolves. Ta :)

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 100% Punctuation: 100% Spelling: 100% Vocabulary: 100%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?