Cheese, chutney and culture

Cheese, chutney and culture.

That might be the name of a novel I might write or might not. Who's to guess.

Thing is I might do - and I could never have mighted if it weren't for my life now! So yes, two posts back I was feeling like... that. There will probably be other times I'll feel like rehashing the tiredness post. There are several things I don't see the answers to - less answers now than before. I thought I had some answers, I know I don't now. I've still got Jesus and I have a strong feeling... strike that out, I have a strong knowing ;) He's gonna keep me... Hurray for a God who holds you even when you don't have the strength to hold on.

So yes, I'm learning how perfect love can and should cast out crippling fear. I'm learning to get used to relearning things. I'm learning to laugh even more. I'm learning to love. Learning to shut up, learning to not grow up, and I'm learning what might be hardest of all, to say so what. Yes, even to things I have taken for granted all my life.

And I'm unlearning the little-protected-convent-grown-girl act, I am unlearning the humble-and-be-exalted-law outside of God... I took the fairy-tales seriously. Always did. The Bible is so real. But not everyone lives in the real world. So I will live in it - but I will remember the pretend-laws outside... JUST so I don't get confused again. BCC was so near-perfect, it was easy to forget. But that's not all good. Here in this bubble, I am real. It took me some time, but there have been songs in the night. And the songs have grown in strength. I can still make God smile.

Not that I'm the only one.